I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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