In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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