shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize