I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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