Having a random hookup so left but love u
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
