I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
