Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
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Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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