is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
