i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he shaved USA in his pubs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize