it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
