we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
