She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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