Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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