i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
