Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize