You made me cry and you don't even care
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
