I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
