It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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