Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
