Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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