just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
