shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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