Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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