I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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