i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize