She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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