Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
