I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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