Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
