I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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