I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
