why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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