Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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