I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
