Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
