we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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