Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
