That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
nutella sex= disaster
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
