Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize