some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
