I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
