Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
