youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
