i would punch a child for taco bell
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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