Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize