on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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