we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
