im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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