Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
