We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
