you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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