Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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