I have demons in me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
