So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
