"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
