she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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