I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
