Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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