Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
