is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
